Reactivating My Creativity
by Patrice Brown
Date originally published: 12/10/2018
Updated: September 15, 2022
4 years ago...
I've been reactivating my creativity and it feels so good. When I was younger, before I "hopped off the porch", all I did was write short stories and draw. I loved being creative. I am now 26 and recently earned my master's degree the end of 2017. I always had a thought in the back of my head to pursue my creative side but instead, I was encouraged to pursue a career that I knew had a guaranteed monetary return. Society kind of works that way, even when we're in grammar school. Everyone has to be, act, think, and learn a certain way. It gets worst when you get in high school and are forced to decide what you want to do once you graduate, forced to pick a college, pick a major, pick your lifelong career now!
I've been in school since I've been in school and even though I got through it, I felt dead and drained on the inside. I was missing something. It's been officially a year since I earned my master's degree and the transition to the "real world", or "adult life" has been pretty eye opening and tough. The words of that counselor that told me 'The hard work really happens after you graduate' kept ringing in my ears. She was right. It was harder now than it was in school, and I was stressed out then.
Now
Still, I tried and tried to find a full-time job. I was hired at a few but every time something happened to make that come to an end. I started to think it was for a good reason. Then it happened. I landed a job on a research team as administrative and communication support. This is what I thought I always wanted to do. I just knew it would be great. I worked that job, and every day became more and more difficult to bear, I still felt as if my soul was dying. The position was at a prominent school and my entire family was proud of me. Then I did the unthinkable.
I quit. Prior to getting that job, I took a year off after my stress seriously caught up to me. I rested and drove DoorDash to make ends meet. I spent that year finding myself; something I never got a chance to do ever in my life. After the job on the research team, I thought I could do Doordash again until I figured out the rest of my life. It was bold. It was brave. Doordash was slow. God still made a way. In this moment in my life, I realized I will never do something that made my soul die again. I vowed to do something to grow myself creatively no matter what.
Since then, I started back writing creatively. I published my first poetry book called Soar In Your Sorrows. I’ve gone back into my first ever book I wrote at age 11 hoping to publish again before this year is out. I started back writing short stories and taking up creative writing classes. I started performing spoken word in front of small crowds at Busboys and Poets. I helped the young girls a part of the Sew-it-Be program write and perform a spoken word piece. I host small support groups focused on writing and growing.
What Blocks Our Creativity
Reactivating your creativity at any age will be hard. Getting back anything you've lost will be hard. If you were able to stick with your creativity all your life, I am honestly jealous. There are a lot of reasons we let our creativity die. Childhood trauma or the loss of childhood at an early age, money or potential money, caring about what people or our caregivers think or say is right, and not believing we can be ourselves. Honestly, the list goes on.
Our insecurities make us doubt ourselves and fear the unknown. It takes bravery to stay true to who you are in today's society. Society has a way of encouraging everyone to conform to what they call normal. Going to school, getting a degree and a full-time job, retiring, and living off social security is the route most people take. Nothing against school and that working for some people but it's not the only way. School is a great opportunity to learn new skills but, if you don't go into it with you and what makes your soul happy in mind, you will surely lose yourself.
I decided to reactivate my creative side.
Reactivating Our Creativity
A journey of reactivating your creativity will look different for everyone depending on what blocked your creativity in the first place. Here's the journey I took...
Right after college I started journaling about my feelings and emotions. In doing so, I realized my unhealthy thinking patterns and cycles I took myself through. Journaling is a great way to get to the root of our emotional trauma and pain. It is also a great way to liberate yourself from it.
This blog site, which I started over a five years ago, helped me to express myself, get who I was out there, written down. It has been very, very therapeutic for me. It is what birthed the rest of what I do creatively for myself and the encouragement of creativity in others through my brand and Modernly Ethnic.
Since journaling and publicly blogging, things that I use to love started popping up in my mind. Things like writing, drawing, poetry, fashion, and so much more. For so long I couldn't just choose one thing and stick to it. I finally told myself that I can do all these things and so much more. I chose to do whatever was on my mind that day.
Modernly Ethnic
Modernly Ethnic bring all creatives together in a positive way and into a supportive community. What Modernly Ethnic is all about is inspiring people to be themselves in this world today by letting them know it's people out there brave enough to be themselves. We feature and interviews creatives and their work here on our blog, YouTube channel, and Instagram. Join us here at Modernly Ethnic, The Creative Community™🧡💛💚💙💜💗 Submit your story and or your work at www.modernlyethnic.org telling us your creative story for a chance to be featured on our blog and YouTube channel 👍
Remember, no matter what obstacles you face be yourself, love yourself, and express yourself. Do what makes you happy! Tackle unhealthy thought patterns and things that are blocking us from who we truly are and our true purpose in life. To be your creative self is to be living in your purpose.
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